'Mom the EMT's are taking Amber to the hospital, I have been giving her CPR'..................My husband and I live an hour away and we immediately got on the road to the hospital. It had not been long when the Doctor came in to tell us that my oldest daughter, Amber was not going to make it. Everything imaginable goes through your mind all at one time and then it hits you square in the face.
For those of you who have experienced this part there is no need to tell any of you more of that particular night, as we all know the results. Of course I don't remember the drive home, but I remember the next day when I needed to call friends to tell them of the tragic event that occurred. I talked to my boss at work and ask him not to tell everyone he sees about my loss, as I knew he would tell it as a sensational story instead of with the tenderness it deserved. I had to make him promise-this was so important to me. We worked in a local dental office where I was the office manager, and after many years of working with him and hearing him talking about his friends stories to anyone who would listen I knew the community would know before I was ready to deal with them. I called several friends-all who were very sorry and ask if there was anything they could do. My husband and I called my father who lives hours away and he came in that evening and stayed with us. My husband was a rock dealing with me and my father and his own grief of course.
The next day we met Amber's husband and his family, my youngest daughter and her father and husband at the funeral home. What a horrible day that was and I do not remember much after that, although I will always remember the time spent there!
Two days later was the funeral-the turnout was amazing! There was not enough parking at the church and standing room only in the church. Most of this day is a blur. I remember talking to many people while I was there, but not all the conversations-it was like a dream. I saw a couple of friends from high school-that was surprising, and I saw many of Amber's friends and then there were her children. Oh my lord what in the world can you say to the children to help them to understand the finality of what is happening. We adults are supposed to have it all together for them, but we all were in such shock. My brother Rick was there, which is always a comfort because we are so close. My mother and her husband came for a short while, but my mother decided before the service even started that "she was uncomfortable with my ex's family being there and felt unwelcome and she was going to leave-Debbie you understand?' Who cares about what she is feeling-wasn't sure at what point she thought that day was about her---thats another story. My brother stayed of course, and my dad (who I never recall living with, but always paid his child support), and my uncle Dickie (met him a few times in my life only). Of course my youngest daughter, her husband, and her father and father's family were there, as well as Amber's husband and two children.
The drive home from the funeral was a long one for sure, my dad was making my husband and I very edgy on top of everything else we were feeling. Dad left the next day and then the silence began.....................................................